In Too Deep
A song came on the radio today, “Oceans” by Hillsong. It is a fantastic song, and for some of us it was our anthem. Back in 2014 and 2015, it was the song I would belt out in the car, asking God to take me deeper in my walk with Him. I had boldness, courage, and for some reason a sense of trepidation as I would sing those words, knowing it was a big leap of faith to go so deep with the Lord. But we were getting ready to move on from seminary. We were exploring our call. Eventually we felt the call to church plant and this song continued to be my anthem. As we fundraised, moved our family, and depended on God to meet our needs, I would sing this song.
You see at the beginning of this church planting journey I felt like Peter, when he asked the Lord to lead him out to the water so that he could walk alongside Jesus on the lake. I was bold. I wanted to go deeper in my faith. I wanted to go places that the only Lord could take me. I wanted to serve. I was excited and I was ready for the journey. We had no guaranteed salary—but that was okay, God got us covered. We knew only one family coming to Louisiana—but again, okay because God had us, God was in control. Living 900 plus miles from family—again, no big deal, Lord take us deeper. We were willing and able to follow the Lord. We had zeal, a holy excitement for what the Lord wanted us and called us to do. As a multiracial family we were called down south to start a Kingdom church that would cross racial barriers and be bridge builders. God had been preparing us for this. I was ready. I was Peter when he wanted to walk alongside Jesus on the lake.
After we had been at this church planting thing awhile, we were in this limbo time. We hadn’t started the church, we were laying some solid ground work, but there were so many variables. There were so many “what ifs?” It began to get overwhelming. What had the Lord called us to do? Why? Did we hear the Lord correctly? Will things actually come together? What kind of uncertainty did we get ourselves and our children into? We had seminary professors that had advised us to take calls that would be good for our family. Well, certainly living without a guarantee of income couldn’t be the best choice for our family. Could it? I had doubts and questions. I became Peter, the Peter that was timid and scared once he got out on the lake, the one that starts to sink with doubt. I was drowning in my faith, the same faith that had prompted me to ask the Lord to go “deeper.” I wanted to go home. I longed to go back to what was comfortable and certain. What had I done singing that song all of those times asking the Lord to “take me deeper than my feet could ever wander?” He was making that exact prayer come true.
And some of you may have belted out that song a few years ago, or even a few days ago, with the intention of following God wherever God might lead you. You had zeal, and faith, and then the road block hits. And it can hit hard. And your anthem of “take me deeper” now comes with fear and trepidation. You may wonder why you had ever sang that song in the first place. You know what they say, “Be careful what you pray for.” Well, you are now thinking, “I should have been more careful of what I sang.”
But the Lord will bring you through. Throughout this church planting journey, there have been ups and downs. I have been the Peter with great excitement and faith, and the one doubting what I was doing and God’s call, sinking quickly in the water that I asked the Lord to lead me into. Yet the Lord always gets us through. Jesus always reaches out his hand and pulls me back up to safety. He never lets me fall. And then I get to continue on this faith journey. No matter what, if God has called you to this church planting thing (or any other faith step), then God has you covered. He isn’t going to let you sink, just keep depending on him. If you get scared, then call out to Jesus, just like Peter did. And the Lord will reach out his hand to you and pull you back up to safety.
So keep belting “Oceans,” and keep taking those faith steps, because God’s got you covered!
(Matthew 14:22-33)
