Gender Wars at Sam’s
First, I have to preface this with the statement that I do almost everything with my children. I am someone that likes to be out and about. Having children does not keep me at home. Some of you may read this and think, “I would never go out with four children on my own.” And that is okay. I am an extrovert, I get cabin fever, and I need to get out of the house near-daily.
With that being said, I was a few months into being a mom of four instead of three, and I was daring enough to shlep to Sam’s Club with the whole gang on my own. If you know my kids, you will know how much of an adventure Sam’s Club is for us. They love eating at the food court and getting samples from the sample people. My oldest can even tell you when one of the sample people has moved stations. And most of the sample people, and really the employees for that matter, recognize me and my kids to the point that they know if one child is missing from our crew for the day.
So, here I am walking in Sam’s Club with all four children. I got the usual “You’ve sure got your hands full,” comments, which is fine. I really don’t take offense to this because I genuinely do have my hands full. I have little ones and I am always holding a hand, holding a baby, wiping tears, kissing booboos and more. Life is full, really full. So, when an older gentleman approached us and said, “You have your hands full,” I didn’t think much of it. He made note of the fact that I have three girls and one boy. He then commented that I should have more children. This was a total shock to me. Most people do not make that comment; they usually say something to the effect of “Are you done [having children]?” So telling me I should have more really made me curious as to what he was to say next. And then it came, “But you should have more boys; they’re better.”
I could not believe my ears. I asked myself “This is 2018 right?” To which I replied in my head, “Yes, Amanda, it is 2018.” Okay, good, now that I have that out of the way, I quickly have to fix this situation. This man just said this in front of my four children—three of which are girls and have now heard something that is completely untrue: that boys—namely their brother— are better. Then my son, who is also at a very impressionable age and is learning how to treat people just heard that he is better than his sisters, just for that fact of him being a boy. So now my children have been pitted against one another. I don’t think this was the man’s intention with his comment, but damage control had to be done. I quickly told my children that girls are just as good as boys. Okay, quick save. Maybe something more could have been said, but this was an impromptu lesson and I was on my own with four children wandering the isles of Sam’s Club, trying to keep tiny hands in the cart and feet from wandering off.
But in all seriousness this is a huge issue, and not just this one instance that happened with our family. We homeschool our children, and while our children know their gender and realize there are differences between being a boy and a girl they saw each other as equals. And this is exactly as it should be. It wasn’t until my son started sports with other school aged kids that the whole “No girls allowed!” thing started. And, while there are differences in gender, we are all made in the image of God, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them,” (Genesis 1:27 NIV). Both men and women, boys and girls are made in the image of God. We are all valued children of God. I want my children to know that first and foremost. I want them to know that I love them because of them. I don’t value one child over another because of their gender or for any other reason, and neither does God. They are each unique and wonderfully made, knit together by a Creator with a glorious design.
Gender is valuable, it is a part of the design God has for humanity. I don’t want to dismiss this. But gender does not make one person better than another. Gender doesn’t speak to my children’s intelligence or creativity; to their compassion or generosity. There is a lot that makes up a person. I hope that my children realize this, and I hope that my husband and I have instilled in them that they are “…fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Psalm 139:14 NIV). I hope they realize that each of them are God’s child and that one is not better than another for any reason.
